Close your eyes and think of someone who has hurt you. The offence might be profound or small but deeply painful, a single arrow to your heart or a thousand wounding slights.
The perpetrator might be a stranger - the guy who caused your accident, the gangbanger who took your child. More likely, it will be someone close and trusted. The sister who killed herself.
The parent who lashed out, the spouse mired in addiction. an unfaithful lover.
It might even be yourself
Let all the anger. hurt and resentment you fell for that wrongdoer bubble to the surface. Seethe, shout, saviour it. Feel your heart pounding, your stomach churning and your thoughts racing in dark directions.
OK, stop. Now forgive your offender. Don’t just shed the bitterness and drop the recrimination, but emphathise with his plight, wish him well and move in - whether he’s sorry or not.
It’s the culmination of a process that, he insists, ” you’ve got to be able to see through to the end”
Researcher have shown that that ‘ forgiveness and interventions ‘ can improve cardiovascular function, diminish chronic pain, relieve depression and boost quality of life among the ill.